Sunday, January 10, 2010

"I'm looking through you"

There's a significant development that most people go through while transitioning through their teenage years into adulthood. This process is taught by the real world that slowly tears at your ego and teaches you a powerful lesson that institutions simply cannot. In mid November, with the little help of a few things, I began to see things through a different spectrum of colors which I can attribute to this development.

After aimlessly wandering around for awhile, I found myself within the midst of a minuscule party. Within it, I experienced an intense flurry of thoughts and a sensation that some would call an "ego-death". I started to see everything for exactly what it is without any preconceived notions or personal interference, and not how I wanted them to be. While this was a powerful state of mind, it also had a negative side. I began to feel very, very small. I began to see myself as a small speck of dust on a rug, nothing more than an inconvenience that would eventually disappear. Then I reevaluated not only myself, but the people around me and society as a whole. As a result I crafted a mental image of people all over the world, aimlessly wandering around pretending to know what they were doing but not really knowing.

Now I discovered a lot of things within myself that night but for the sake of this blog being too long winded I've condensed it into a sentence: life chose to go through me for a reason, and it can easily go on without me.

Take from it what you will, but after this epiphany I began to notice what separates a young man from a man; and that is putting others before you, while still maintaining your priorities and happiness. It's difficult and I still have work to do..but I think i'm on the right path.

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